Go Bananas!

Skid Row

What is so funny about a banana? Is it the phallic shape, or its sunshine yellow colour that make us find such humour in it? Is it because 1950s teenagers used the phrase ‘Go bananas’ as shorthand for behaviour that was considered ape-like and a little risqué?

I wouldn’t like to say – but humans have been laughing at bananas for a long (and bendy) time.

A 2014 blog by Peter Jenson Brown examined in detail where and how the slippery banana skin gag came about in popular culture. I was amazed to learn it predated The Three Stooges in comic performances by some decades.

Go bananas - smiley face made up from three banana slices and a whole banana.

In reality I only know of one person who’s ever slipped on an actual banana skin – and she actually really hurt herself. But even though I cared deeply about her welfare, and threw the offending article right in the bin to prevent further accidents, almost Biblical laughter bubbled up from deep within me for several minutes after the event. In obvious (but thankfully not serious) pain, she laughed like a drain too. It felt natural somehow. Expected, even.

But are we giving bananas enough credit? Is there more to these little yellow smiles than a simple slapstick (or should that be ‘slipstick’?) gag – or that its shape reminds us all (even the King of Pratfalls, Chevy Chase and his friends on Community) of a jaundiced penis?

Banana Facts

Go bananas - bunch of three bananas close up

The banana is believed to have originated in Southeast Asia and the South Pacific.

Known as khadali” in Sanskrit, the banana can be found in ancient Hindu scriptures and is believed to date right back to around 5000 B.C. In fact it’s believed to be the first fruit humankind ever cultivated. Buddhist Pali texts and ancient Chinese literature make reference to it.

It symbolises Lord Vishnu – the epitome of piousness – and is given as a ‘Dakshina’ (donations) to temples, monasteries, and spiritual guides in several key world religions.

The ancient Greeks believed that planting a banana tree on your property linked the grower to Jupiter, who again represented temple offerings and piousness – and who repaid the fruity gifts by bestowing auspiciousness.

There was complete uproar in war-torn Britain, when in November 1940, Lord Wooton, Minister for Food (and culprit of the absolutely disgusting Wooton Pie), placed a complete ban on their import. This was, in his defense, to prevent German attacks on food imports. But the caramelised carrots he recommended in their place left a bitter taste in Britons’ mouths for the rest of the war and beyond.

Several popular songs arose during this stark period of rationing, bemoaning the loss of this bright cheery fruit in the UK diet.

These included When Can I See a Banana Again, a cover of Yes, We Have No Bananas, and I’ve Never Seen a Straight Banana.

They were finally reintroduced in December 1945 – but ration books limited their consumption to under-18s only.

Today, the Financial Times cites them as the third bestselling item in the UK, after petrol and Lotto tickets.

Unzip a Banana

Go Bananas - Hand unzipping a single ripe banana

We probably all know by now that bananas grow in spiky bunches. But I was fascinated to learn that the stem they grow from is a rhizome. This rhizome is a hard mass of healthful minerals and vitamins, and is especially high in calcium. In fact all parts of the banana plant are edible and/or useful for medicinal purposes. So often the stem is stripped of its tough fibres, soaked in cold water to prevent browning, then sliced into raitas and curries.

Banana leaves are used to wrap food into manageable parcels for cooking. Rice and coconut are steamed in their banana parcel for example. In Asian cuisine you’ll often see banana leaves acting as a biodegradable plate or bowl. They’re antibacterial too, so are great for packaging and transporting loose foodstuffs, and including in medical packs.

The plants (herbaceous perennials rather than trees) take between 12-18 months to bear fruit – and when these are produced depends entirely on the growing conditions.

Fruit hangs in bunches known as ‘hands’, with each individual banana known as (innuendo trigger warning) a ‘finger’.

They can be bought fresh, or in dried slices which are either hard and crunchy or soft and chewy see end).

Bananas and our Bodies

Image shows Banananman - source: TVTropes.corg — Image: Bananaman from TVTropes.org

If you grew up in 1980s Britain, you can’t have missed the animated antics of Eric Wimp, a young, hapless boy who, whenever he ate a banana was transformed into the crime-busting superhero, Bananaman. Are bananas quite that efficacious on our bodies? Probably not. But they do offer a range of health benefits to keep us fit and well.

Rich in fibre and having positive effects on kidney stones, acidity and urinary tract infections, the banana fruit helps alleviate many renal and digestive health issues. It can also be used for controlling blood sugar and cholesterol levels, as it’s full of carbohydrates. These help transport sugars to the blood.

A medium (125g) banana usually stores around 15g of sugar, so those with diabetes should eat them with care to control blood sugar spikes after eating.

They’re also good sources of potassium, which helps our muscles contract and improves our nervous system’s signalling capabilities. And again, potassium is good for our kidney health. But probably the best and most immediately-felt benefit of potassium-fuelled bananas is the positive impact it can have on mood and levels of fatigue. So if you’re feeling fed up, reaching for a banana could help you to perk yourself up!

Banana Chocolate Ice Cream (vegan)

Ice cream is my go-to when I’ve had a terrible day. And as a vegan I am of course blessed with an ever-increasing range of fabulous dairy free ice creams I can buy over the counter.

But sometimes there just isn’t time to hit the stores before the tears come. Plus if you’re trying not to eat too much naughtiness, then not having too many sweet treats to hand is probably a good move.

But if you need that ice cream hit, I have just the thing. Plus this recipe includes kinduv one of your five a day, so… there’s that. [Don’t write in: I’m jesting].

Anyway, I’ve started making this – which is by far the easiest bowl of yummy naughtiness imaginable. A trifling two ingredients, a couple of hours’ freezing time, and there’s your Tupperware box of ‘Operation ‘Sh*t Day’ right there!

Here’s what to do:

Take 4-5 ripe mid-sized bananas: peel, slice and freeze (a couple of hours will do).
In a bowl, mix the bananas with1.5tsp cocoa powder per banana.
Add a splash of vodka to prevent ice crystals (you can leave this ingredient out and just blitz it in a food processor prior to eating, if preferred).
Combine everything until smooth and creamy.
Refreeze until ready to eat. Can be kept for a couple of months in an airtight freezer-proof container.