Life Before Slow Living
Since the first lockdown I’ve been working from home. Honestly, aside from becoming a vegan, it’s probably better than any gift I could ever have given myself.
Before March 2020, I was seeing a psychoanalyst about my OCD, dermatillomania and anxiety. Within a month of working from home, the symptoms were fast disappearing. Plus I was experiencing less muscle and back pain, fewer headaches and sleeping better.
No prizes for guessing why. I’d slowed down. Right down.
The morning alarm and rushed breakfast of pre-lockdown very quickly dissolved into distant memory. Speed-leg-shaving, stiff office clothes and icy bus stops were no more. Gone too, the cups of nasty instant coffee slugged down in lieu of a proper break. There was no more arriving home late, angry and tired. And I could (within reason) prioritise my working day to suit me.
Sure, I’ve missed the company of my closest colleagues. But honestly, even the Zoom calls are an improvement for me. I’ve found myself really enjoying – and benefiting from – the quietude, and the freedom to live more autonomously. The slower pace clearly suits me better.
And it seems I’m not alone. Slow living – the art of slowing one’s life right down – is now a huge, global phenomenon. Blogs and vlogs cover the internet, expounding its benefits.
But how easy is it to live this way in the long term? And what exactly is to be gained from a slow and steady way of life?
Working Smarter not Harder
The trick to living slowly is to establish our priorities and apportion our time and effort accordingly. We can then set more realistic boundaries for ourselves. In other words, to live slowly (without getting fired), we need to work smarter not harder.
Work pressures are commonplace. But work itself isn’t quite the real issue. In fact, work can offer a sense of purpose and routine, relieve concerns about money, and provide valuable social contact.
So if we can’t live without work, how can we live *more slowly * – and lose some of its pressures?
The Four Ds.
Our entire workload might not all be down to us, but we can still out-manoeuvre some of its negative impacts. And it’s probably more essential to do this, the busier we get.
By limiting the amount of work we take on to begin with, we allow ourselves more time to focus on those projects that really matter. And when we complete something well, our self-confidence gets a boost too.
The value of what are commonly known in business as ‘The Four Ds’ of time management, vary depending on who you ask. But below is my personal list. These can be used outside the workplace too:
- Delete any emails/chores that aren’t relevant to your role/day to allow you to get on with those that are.
- Defer anything you can do later: not everyone’s priorities are the top priority – people will just have to wait.
- Delegate ongoing tasks to give more junior team/family members the chance to shine and stay motivated.
- Decline/Drop any meetings/projects you really don’t think you can contribute anything to.
Tuning out
Devices are evil. There I said it – a blogger! How hypocritical! But it’s true – to a point. Devices do great things – but they can also sap valuable time and brain power.
Setting timers and blocking unsuitable sites for vulnerable users is a great way to limit kids’ screen time. But setting the example for them – or your team – to follow, is better still. Have clear boundaries on when and where device use is/isn’t cool and stick to them. After all, nobody wants to spend all evening looking at the top of anyone’s head on a date, right?
Removing phones, gaming, etc… from the workplace, bedrooms, dinner table and social settings, will exponentially improve the quality of time you spend with others – and alone.
Deleting apps from your devices instantly limits any temptation to log into them too often. Reducing your online presence and keeping personal stuff offline will eliminate any burgeoning obsessions with ‘likes’ and other online engagement. It will also help you to resist oversharing, and leaving yourself exposed to online bullying – another time and energy drain.
Switching on the TV only with intent to watch something specific, not to merely fill time, will also enable you to reduce overall screen time.
Taking proper breaks from noise and flashing blue screens in general will give your eyes, brain, housemates and neighbours a welcome break. Plus it’ll help you and potentially others to work and sleep more easily. And it should help to encourage you to take on fewer brain-fizzing activities and be more sociable.
Set the tone for others and you will soon find that peer pressure to stay tuned-in declines. giving you more time and pizzaz for real life.
Take time over tasks
We are what we eat.
Wolfing down a plate of defrosted khaki goo appeals to nobody – least of all vegans! And whilst it can’t always be avoided, buying takeaways is an expensive and not always eco-friendly way to eat.
But cooking our meals from scratch, and keeping the heat down low allows us to really connect with the food we cook and eat. The more time we take over our veggies, the more respect we’re giving the earth and conditions that grew them. Take time to reflect on this as you cook and eat.
Chop, stir, serve and chew food slowly to fully appreciate its smells, flavours and textures: engage all five senses in the process. Eating slowly is also said to help reduce hunger pangs and prevent indigestion, so is great for anyone wanting to shed a few pounds or lose that bloated feeling after meals.
Grow your own food.
Eating, shopping – or foraging – seasonally and locally will help us to better connect with nature and our environment, and could even boost our cookery repertoire. Plunging our hands into the earth can be the perfect way to switch off and feel connected to the seasons too.
Growing our own food – even if it’s just a herb pot on a window ledge – brings us closer to wildlife, helps improve our patience (things don’t grow overnight), and gives us something to care for.
Gardening can also provide us with opportunities to learn: scientifically proven to maintain brain health and happiness.
And as Audrey Hepburn allegedly noted, it gives us hope – in a seemingly hopeless world – of the promise of things to come.
Pen to Paper
Not only will your brain have more time to choose your words more carefully if you handwrite them, but you’ll be able to enjoy the simple pleasures of writing too. Different ink colours or textured papers can change the writing (and reading) experience completely. And how much more meaningful is a handwritten letter to receive in the mail than a rattled-off email?
Keep a journal or notebook. Not only are they fab ways to get things off your chest (reducing the time you spend worrying about them) but notebooks can be turned into grimoires, and things of utter beauty if you have the patience and crafting skills. And even if you never get around to using them, they make great gifts.
Using interesting pens or colouring pencils might sound hipster – but it works! Just think back to how popular those mindfulness colouring books were a few years ago. This works on the same principle. And honestly, for me there’s no better smell than new stationery and art materials.
Walk There
Walking rather than driving will encourage you to view your location in a whole new light. This can be the case wherever you are – but most of all I feel it closer to home.
It’s amazing how much more connected you can feel to your home surroundings if you actually spend some slow time in them! Taking in the architecture, street signs, flora and fauna provides great opportunities to discover the sense of a place. And you’ll take in more of the subtle changes of the seasons in familiar spaces, helping you feel naturally more a part of them. As you walk, you may also find yourself making a mental note of the types of things that make you tick – stuff you’d never get to see whizzing past in a car. And the best part? Pedestrians rarely get stuck in a traffic jam or contribute to climate crisis as they journey.
Make and Create
You don’t need to be Kirstie Allsopp to get your crafting game on. The point is rather to switch off and learn to trust your own instincts.
Feeling the process is far more important than the aesthetic outcome. What slow living is largely about is knowing you’re doing the most productive thing, and allowing yourself to be in the moment. The ideas below combine the benefits of spending slow time on a task, switching off from stress, and potentially reducing waste or climate damage. This is deliberate, because guilt consumes time like event horizon. Living without guilt clears space in the mind for more important things – like self care – to take up residence.
Recycle, reuse and repurpose.
We all know we should be doing this already. But how many of us genuinely are? Instead of grumbling about having to put the bin out again, aim to limit what goes in it in the first place. More of the three Rs means less waste, less self-disappointment and less to do. And having less to do helps you to live more slowly.
Plastic Fantastic
Resist the temptation to dump all your plastic and bring on your Creative A-Game. Paint your skanky old watering cans; make an insect house with broken plant pots and drinks bottles full of straw. Refill old sauce bottles with home-made vinaigrettes or cleaning products…
I even take cleaned out frozen food bags and tubs to do my grocery shopping with. Result? Have less to part with gives your stuff a new lease of life – and means you get to live more slowly for a few extra hours with the creative side of your brain.
It won’t work for everything you own – but if you could give anything at all a fresh start with a new button, purpose, or a cheap coat of paint, why wouldn’t you?
Make and customise clothes.
Top too tight? Jumper all bobbly? No matter! Fabrics can be reused for cushion and hot water bottle covers, home-made slippers and toys, patchwork and crafting, or even just dishrags. An old shirt could be the perfect DIY smock. An old flannel could be a good make-up removal pad or washbag. I’ve even made draught excluders with our old holey socks. Sometimes all it takes to revive an old shirt is a change of buttons, and a bit of imagination. And of course, slowed down down-time.
It might not be perfectly hemmed when you’ve made it yourself but it will be unique. And you can be certain that your ‘new’ product was completely ethically made. Plus you’ll have zero inclination to pop ‘just another top’ into a shopping basket while you’re doing it.
Take your time over it, so it’s less of a task and more of an activity. Invite friends over for a sewing bee, or save up your make do and mend projects as peaceful and meditative times to be enjoyed alone.
Send home-made cards and gifts
Firing off an email for your sister’s birthday really doesn’t cut it. But a handmade card really hits the spot. It’s a great way to slow down, use up old craft items and add a personal touch – without creating any more waste.
If you’re hopeless at drawing, you could always make use of all those magazines and old birthday cards you’ve been hoarding, and get handy with a pair of scissors and a glue stick!
You could even repurpose that huge pile of your kids’ enthusiastic paint daubs! Everyone loves getting one of those in the mail – and it’ll help you de-clutter (and encourage your kids to make art) at the same time.
One of our neighbours recently visited the whole street and posted their kids’ drawings through letterboxes to cheer everyone up. It was a wonderfully thoughtful thing to receive – and probably cleared a whole space off the kitchen table! Win win.
Enjoy your own company
Of all the people you’ll ever meet, the only one you have to stay with for the rest of your life, is you. And if your life is getting slower, you’ll be right up in each others’ faces! So it’s really important you get along.
Recognising the difference between being alone, and being lonely is essential for our happiness. And it will get you off to a great start on your slow living journey.
It can sound scary to be alone more – especially if we have unfinished business with ourselves. But there are loads of ways to help cope with issues of self, including Wiccans’ shadow work, tapping, sound baths and meditation. And the more we spend productive time with ourselves, the better we get at it.
Respecting your own needs first, and reducing the overall ask on yourself will encourage you to make and enjoy a date with yourself much more.
Reprogram yourself to handle negativity.
It’s no fun hanging out with a negative person – and negativity is a choice. A choice that takes up time – meaning less opportunity to live slowly. So choose the more positive outlook, always.
Treat yourself like a friend. Speak to yourself objectively about relationships and expectations, etc… Recognise and acknowledge your own strengths and accomplishments, as you would a stranger.
And when the blues strike, write lists! I start with my negative list first, (e.g. I’m sad because….) then a positive list to counter it (I’m happy because…). Works almost every time.
Making a physical change can also help you stay positive. Take a shower or bath. Change your clothes. Go outside. Exercise. Cook something. Do the laundry. Put wild make up on!! Even a small movement can make all the difference.
Make fewer plans
We’ve all been there – a banging headache but we promised we’d go – so we go. Honourable? Meh! Not so much. Rather, this behaviour is ultimately counter-intuitive, as it hinders our relationships with others. Doing stuff we’re not in the mood for makes us resent not just the person sending the invitation, but more crucially, ourselves, for not having the chutzpah to cancel.
By committing to and planning less in the first place, you’re instantly less obliged to follow through with inconvenient or unwelcome plans – and get more ‘slow-alone-time’.
This isn’t about being antisocial. It’s about being more ‘present’ for those activities you really want to do and the people you do them with. Be more selective and you’ll naturally feel less like your time – and everybody else’s – is being wasted.
Choose organic pastimes – what do you *feel* like doing?
The kitchen sink won’t empty itself of dishes, and I’m not advocating you should leave them forever. But sometimes it’s ok to let go of the small stuff. If you really want to spend your time writing a poem or a song that just came to you, do that. The dishes can wait and the world won’t end. You’ll thank yourself for it later.
Create a Bucket List of things you can do alone.
We’ve already discussed writing to others and writing journals and happy lists. Writing things of intention down is something else entirely.
It’s kinda creating a kind of contract with yourself. A contract that’s more likely to get checked off if it exists in concrete form. So if you’ve ever been tempted to study and learn new skills for instance, or there’s some derring-do activity you’ve always fancied challenging yourself to, write it down. Eventually you’ll either get around to it, or realise it wasn’t much for you after all. Either way, you’ll get to know yourself much better at a glance – which of course saves time!
The more we know ourselves, the easier it is to set realistic boundaries and challenges for our future. And if we make a point of rewriting the bucket list from time to time, we’ll also make space for change and growth.
Do nothin’
This one took me ages to get my head around. I was a naturally busy, stressy person, continually on the go. Doing nothing felt awkward and, frankly, lazy! My first effort was a complete failure – I got the guilts and got up to do the hoovering!
But I built up the ‘doing nothing’ time gradually… And eventually, by simply allowing myself to stop everything and just sit, enjoying my own thoughts, I managed to ignore social judgment. I incrementally learned to slow my heartrate and relax my blood pressure. It had such a huge impact on my anxiety I genuinely wished I’d done more of it years ago.
And I don’t mean meditation here either – I really mean DO NOTHING. Whose idea was it anyway, that we must fill every waking second with doing stuff?! Anyone who’s seen a cat knows that the reason they’re so effective when they need to be, is because they give themselves some seriously righteous downtime!
Make the most of ‘me-time’
Creating better opportunities to unwind is not as hard as it seems. Think about the senses and how your ‘me time’ can soothe them all. Curate your perfect surroundings by applying soft, slow sounds, gentle lighting, warm scents, and decor that really appeals to you. And make sure you have everything you need ready before you start.
Allocate everyone in the house some ‘me time’ and make it a genuine thing, not a concept. Mark it on the calendar if you have to. Carving out special time(s) in the day where everyone has ‘me time’ for say, one hour, will remove the potential for interruptions. Use rotas, make it a habit to enjoy being alone, and respect the needs of others.
Be peaceful
If you’re always banging and clattering about, your brain will be on constant alert. This was another tip I found hard to follow. The first thing anyone noticed about me (before I started slow living), was the volume.
But once I made a conscious effort to put things away quietly, soften my voice and turn the volume down, I realised what a barrage I was inflicting on my own brain – and everyone else’s! People listened to me more at work when I softened my voice. Things broke less often in the kitchen. My taste in music transformed. My partner leant in more often.
For me, being peaceful also meant changing my wardrobe. Reducing patterns and frills and choosing simple lines and comfort, meant my outfits were easier on the eye, easier to match, and easier to wear. It bought me more time, and less uncomfortable fidgeting every day too.
Own the right things
The mere existence of the storage industry proves that your stuff can end up owning you.
So if you want to live slowly, having less stuff to take care of can really help. It’ll take up less space, require less care and maintenance, and will mean you’re far more constructive in and about your environment.
Start by being honest about your belongings: Do (not ‘will’) you use it? Do you like it? Does it make you feel positive? Would someone else get more out of it?
Living minimally isn’t for everyone – and honestly if Marie Kondo went anywhere near my books I’d slay her with my bare hands. But if you can get rid of things that no longer serve you, you will feel more free.
And if you’re mending and repurposing things going forward, you’ll only ever have to clear out once or maybe twice ever again.
The Best Slow Living Accounts to Follow
Search the internet for ‘slow living’ and you’ll mostly find hundreds of YouTubers whispering Pinterest quotes over soft piano music, as they make endless cups of coffee, or stir things badly in beige kitchens. If this is all you need then, fine. But I know that some of us need something more substantial than this to help us switch off.
And because this blog is about saving you time, I’ve sourced some fabulous accounts for you to look up.
Tune in to Fairyland Cottage, Jonna Jinton, Stinnett Sticks, Kitty Cotten and you’ll find fascinating facts about life in the Swedish lakes, foraging in Ireland, and wood carving – as well as some super-hot tips on slowing down.
Just make sure you’re not tuning in to them so often that your screen time limits are compromised!
